Goals

Q: What are his goals?

Now, it may just be me, but isn't this a question to be discussed after many many dates? Anyone who is well thought out would have a significantly lengthy answer to this question based on their personality, likes, dislikes, livelihood etc.

Don't miss out on these conversations just for the false satisfaction of "comfort". Things change, people change, careers change. We should be learning to deal with that, not demanding answers we feel are best.

References Refereces References

Someone should explain how this takes place and how far it should. People sometimes get asked for references, depending on the circles they are in, but how far should one take this? What are all these questions and are they really necessary?
(i.e. What is he learning? --She can't wait till the date to find this out? or does the father want to quiz him?
Is he a neat person? --again, before a first date?? This is relevant AFTER they get married!! and even then, a good couple can work on this if it is so important)

On the other hand, those who ask real questions want to find out as much as they can before investing personal time and energy. (and they are also very good at 20 questions and love to challenge others-jk) However, even if everything is good on paper, there is still plenty of information that is only acquired after spending time with someone. Why ask all those questions if its a "no-go" after the first date?

Someone make sense of this and help the rest of us out?

Opera or Tenor?

This has got to be one that confuses not only me:

The guys asks: Does she sing well? Does she have a nice voice?

--Is he serious?

Now, in all fairness, maybe his heartfelt intention was thus:

1. He wants to have a special shabbis table where his wife and kids sing zemiros at the table.
2. He has a terrible voice and wants to balance the family vocals (oh, he is a Levi as well as is concerned for our wellbeing come Beis Hamikdash time...how giving?)
3. I got nothin. I can't think of another reason for this random question.