Is She Pretty
How many times have you heard this question?
It seems like people tend to stress this aspect of a person before they talk about character. Sure, we "protect" our dignity and shallowness when we say "not that it is the most important thing..." but who are we kidding. It wouldn't be the first question people ask if it wasn't on the forefront of their mind.
Now, this isn't to say looks have no place in getting set up with someone. On the contrary, most Rabbeim have been known to say that there has to be some attraction level. No arguments there. The issue seems to stem from its immediate concern, and not as the afterthought it should be. Ideally, even if she wasn't a model, by the fact that she has so many other virtuous qualities one may come to love her for who she really is, not by her exterrior. It's strange that I still hear guys in the hall mention something like "she's not blond enough, or she's too short."
Do guys really believe they are entitled to demand Barbie Dolls? Where did this come from?
It seems like people tend to stress this aspect of a person before they talk about character. Sure, we "protect" our dignity and shallowness when we say "not that it is the most important thing..." but who are we kidding. It wouldn't be the first question people ask if it wasn't on the forefront of their mind.
Now, this isn't to say looks have no place in getting set up with someone. On the contrary, most Rabbeim have been known to say that there has to be some attraction level. No arguments there. The issue seems to stem from its immediate concern, and not as the afterthought it should be. Ideally, even if she wasn't a model, by the fact that she has so many other virtuous qualities one may come to love her for who she really is, not by her exterrior. It's strange that I still hear guys in the hall mention something like "she's not blond enough, or she's too short."
Do guys really believe they are entitled to demand Barbie Dolls? Where did this come from?
posted by --Crash and Burn-- @ 7:58 AM
3 Comments:
At 8:52 AM,
MoDox Machmir Man said…
there's a difference between "Barbie doll" and "is she pretty?"
obviously, there's so much more to a girl than her exterior appearance, but you do have to live with the person. I don't think a guy is way out of line asking if a girl is pleasant to look at, provided that it's not the only question.
and if a guy demands a Barbie doll, he'll probably get one; but that doesn't mean he doesn't have problems. I hate to say it, but the shidduch system has turned into somewhat of a supply-and-demand economy. and currently, good guys are just more in demand. the question remains though, how "good" is a guy that DEMANDS a barbie doll?
At 11:18 AM,
Anonymous said…
you may be right about needing to be able to look at the girl but I have a question? what happened to everyone having a different look they are into? what if you like blonds and someone else likes a brunette? people are into SUCH different things just asking if she is pretty is dumb, be more specific. maybe say something like "I usually appreciate a shorter girl" etc., be a bit tactful.
At 9:04 PM,
Anonymous said…
i agree- saying someone is pretty or good looking or not is really stupid... i know people who i personally dont think are especially good looking and their significant other thinks they are the most gorgeous thing on earth. also, for everyones information, girls are picky with looks too- i have said no to guys after seeing them/seeing a picture bc i didnt think they had potential for attraction.. but this was also after hearing about them and looking into them and not being all that impressed overall...
so looks are important- but noone should say "shes not pretty"{ or "hes really ugly" bc its really subjective..
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